This is hard for me to write, mainly because I don’t want to admit to myself that I fell victim to this. But a few nights ago, when I sat down to write a few other posts and loaded up a video game instead, I realized that this was an actual problem.

The Book Deviant has been active since early-mid 2016, with a few breaks here and there due to schooling conflicts and the like. However, recently I’ve found that writing posts is a struggle.

As I write this, it’s the night of one of the days in my regular posting schedule when I normally have a post out. I’ve found myself preferring to play games or watch YouTube rather then read or write posts. I used to find so much joy out of writing these posts, so it really hurts me realizing that I would rather do so many other things over writing posts for this blog.

I’ve been in a reading slump for a long time, and while I think that’s contributing to my problem, I also believe that the expectations that I put on myself to meet a standard for this blog is what is truly killing my love for book blogging. I mentioned it above, but I try and stick to a strict schedule. That means filling up the schedule with pieces that I like to write but people will also find interesting. I’ve stopped writing so many discussion posts, and posts that take longer (quizzes, any posts with data collection needed, etc) get booted to the end of the list in order to fill up my schedule to keep it going. 

Instead of doing the posts I want to, then, I’m doing posts that are easy and fast to write: reviews and memes. I rarely do lists anymore, and discussions are out of the question (I’m even finding this one a struggle, and it’s mostly just me ranting). When I’m struggling to read, I struggle to write.

My normal schedule was a post every three days, but I’m going to increase it to a post every four days, because not only does it allow me more time in between posts, but it also means that the less posts I’m able to write, the further I’ll make it before I have to start writing/reading again. With my work schedule, some days I have plenty of time to write, and other days I’m out of the house until bedtime. It’s very inconsistent, but good money, so I can’t quit. That’s another reason why I leave my ko-fi link at the bottom of my posts now: I need the money to continue running this blog. I have personal money, but I’m also a college student who pays for a lot of stuff out of pocket. Including books, shipping, and other equipment and programs to maintain my blog. 

I realize that this post has been all over the place, but what I’m trying to say is this: I’ve been struggling with running this blog for more then a few months. I believe it’s because of expectations I put on myself to produce quality content fast and consistently when my personal life and mental health can’t keep up. 

So if I want to continue producing quality content (which I do) I’ll have to slow down. Literally “quality over quantity”.

I’m sorry if my content recently hasn’t been up to expectations. I plan to do better, and I hope to come back strong. Thanks for sticking around, friends.

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